The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Implementation Notes

• Build love maps: Partners should know each other well, including dreams, fears, goals, and preferences. Regularly update this information by asking questions and showing interest in each other's lives.
• Share fondness and admiration: Express respect and appreciation for each other. Give compliments, acknowledge positive qualities and achievements.
• Turn towards each other, not away: Listen attentively to your partner, show interest in their words and actions. Maintain an emotional connection, even in small things.
• Resolve conflicts constructively: Learn to compromise and find solutions that satisfy both partners. Avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
• Overcome gridlock: If unsolvable conflicts arise, look for ways to mitigate their impact on the relationship. Accept differences and work on mutual understanding.
• Create shared meaning: Develop shared goals, traditions, and rituals. This helps strengthen the bond and create a sense of unity.
• Maintain positive interactions: Strive for positive moments in the relationship to significantly outweigh the negative ones. Show care, attention, and support for each other.